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Using a personal lubricant (lube) reduces friction during sexual intercourse, making it smooth and painless. There are different types of lube. It's important to know the differences because not all lubes can be used for everything.

When is lube useful?

You can use lube whenever you want and for a wide variety of sexual activities: for example, you can put it on your penis or condom for vaginal intercourse, or on your hands for petting and solo sex. Or anywhere else on the body. Lubricants make the skin wet and slippery, which can make touching more pleasurable. Using lube is especially important for anal sex, because the anus can't self-lubricate – unlike the vagina. You could also use lube when you're playing with sex toys. Just be aware: Some sex toys can be damaged by certain kinds of lube. Read more on that below, and also ask about it when you buy sex toys.

Where can I get lube?

You can buy lube in drug stores, department stores, pharmacies, or large supermarkets. They're usually somewhere near the condoms. Sex shops often have a larger selection and the people there can offer you advice and recommendations, but you have to be of age to buy something there. The largest selection can be found online.

What are the different types of lube?

There are three broad categories of lube: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Some lubricants also contain additional spermicide (ingredients that kill sperm). We don't recommend these, because they're not good for the skin.

When do I use water-based lubricants?

Water-based lubricants are great all-rounders and usually the safest option, especially for vaginal sex. You can use them with sex toys and condoms. Plus, they wash off easily with water and don't leave stains on your clothes or sheets. Many water-based lubes dry out fairly quickly, so you might have to reapply them at some point. They might also dry out your skin. Water-based lube is a good choice for most sexual play but for particularly long sessions, you might want to check out silicone-based products, too.

When do I use silicone-based lubricants?

Silicone-based lube has the advantage of not drying out. It stays slippery for a very long time, so you can use it for sexual activities that take a while. Also, it doesn't easily wash off, which makes it useful for shower sex and anal play. Silicone-based lube should not be used with sex toys made of silicone because it will damage the toy. Check the instruction manual of your toy. Be aware that silicone-based lube can leave stains.

When do I use oil-based lubricants?

Oil-based lubricants can feel quite nice on the skin and they last longer than water-based lube. Pure, cold-pressed oils are ideal, for example virgin coconut oil, sweet almond oil, olive oil, rapeseed oil, etc. Oils have the advantage of tasting good and being gentle and moisturizing for genital skin. Oil does leave stains and is a bit harder to wash off the skin. Also, if you're having sex for a while, the oil might become a bit "crumbly". If this happens, and it bothers you, you could try jojoba oil. It's technically a liquid wax, not an oil, so it won't become "crumbly" – plus it's a great moisturizer.

Oils and (most) condoms don't mix!

If you use condoms during sex, use only water- or silicone-based lube. Oil-based lubricants will damage condoms made of latex or polyisoprene. If you want to use oil, use polyurethane condoms. They are not damaged by oil. So, really pay attention to the materials your condoms are made of if you're using oil. You should always use lubricant on the outside of the condom, not inside. Otherwise, the condom will slip off more easily. Be aware that even using oil on your genitals several hours before using a condom could damage the condom.

Can lube be harmful?

Unfortunately, many lubes that are commonly sold in stores are not that great. They often contain ingredients that irritate the sensitive genital or anal skin. Many dry out the skin in the long run. Glycerin, for example, can be harmful for women and all vagina owners, especially if they are prone to yeast infections. Some silicones (e.g. cyclopentasiloxane) have also raised concerns. Perfume, fragrances, and flavors can cause itching or burning for some people, so be careful and stop using the lube if that happens. Spermicidal lube can be particularly aggressive for vaginal tissue, so you should avoid those lubes as well as condoms that are coated with spermicide. People differ greatly in how sensitive their skin and genitals are: some tolerate all lubes well, others have to be very careful. Either way, it's always a good idea to pay attention to high quality ingredients when choosing a lubricant. Always test the lube on your wrist first and wait a few hours to see if you experience any irritation.

How do I recognize a good lube?

If you're trying to find a good water-based or silicone-based lube, pay attention to the pH level. Only buy lube that has the correct pH level for the vagina (3.8 to 4.5) or the anus (5.5 to 7), depending on what you're using it for. It should say so on the label. This is especially important for vaginal sex, because lube that has the wrong pH can cause bacterial or yeast infections. Be aware that for some people, pure oils can also mess with vaginal pH. If that's the case for you, go for a water-based lube that specifically states a vagina-friendly pH (3.8 to 4.5) instead. For most people, though, oils are a safe and pleasant option.

Another indicator for good lube is the ingredient list. It should ideally be pretty short and contain no glycerin or parabens. We've listed a few lubricants that we can recommend based on their ingredients. This is only a selection, there are other good lubes. We chose these to give you a more specific idea on what to look for on the label. Depending on where you live, you might have to order these lubes online.

Water-bases lubes

• YES Lubricants: WB water based
• Sliquid Organics
• Sustain Natural
• Aloe Cadabra Natural Aloe
• Durex Naturals Extra Sensitive (this one is probably the most widely available)

Silicone-based lubes

• pjur med Premium glide (silicone-based)

Oil-based lubes

• (organic) cold-pressed jojoba oil
• (organic) cold-pressed sweet almond oil
• (organic) unrefined shea butter
• (organic) extra virgin coconut oil

• YES Lubricants: OB natural plant-oil based

What about Vaseline?

Vaseline (petroleum-jelly) is not a suitable lubricant for the vagina. For anal play, Vaseline is okay to use but not with condoms! It damages condoms just like oil does. Generally speaking, Vaseline isn't a great choice. Use one of the other options we described if you can.