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Many people want to be undisturbed when masturbating. Read more about how you can create a private space.

Where am I allowed to masturbate?

Masturbation is your sexual right. No one can forbid you to do it. Basically, there are hardly any limits to where you can masturbate with one important exception: it should not disturb others. Otherwise, you could be accused of sexual harassment.

What are suitable places for masturbation?

As long as you don’t disturb anyone, though, you can do it wherever it is appealing and suitable for you: at home, on a trip, at work, in nature and so on. You can get creative. You should not, however, masturbate in the presence of other people who don’t want that.

What is the advantage of being undisturbed?

Many people want to be undisturbed during solo sex. You, too, can create a private space for yourself. That way, you have privacy and no one can interrupt you. When you are undisturbed, you can concentrate completely on yourself and what you are doing during masturbation. Please also read our tips for masturbation (Link to first text). You will also enjoy solo sex more if you know that you are not constantly being disturbed by others.

Isn't it weird to masturbate while others are at home?

It's perfectly normal to masturbate while others are in the house or apartment. Maybe you're very worried that they’ll notice. They usually don't. Think about it: We’re often in our own rooms and have no idea what the others are doing in theirs — and we don’t really care either. Basically, the more often you masturbate with people in the next room, the more you get used to it.

What if I don't have a private room at home?

In this case, the bathroom, for example, is a good alternative. However, you should not block it for hours or the others will become annoyed. If you share a room with someone, you could negotiate times when each of you can have the room to themselves. If your partner is sleeping next to you, they will probably not notice that you’re masturbating. Don’t leave things like used tissues lying around after solo sex. Then nobody will feel disturbed.

How do I communicate to others in my home that I want to be undisturbed?

If you want to masturbate at home, you can make it clear to your family members or roommates that there are times when you want to be left undisturbed in your room. They have to respect that. If you can't lock your door, tell them to knock before coming in. If someone doesn't respect that, you could try pointing out that they probably wouldn't like people bursting into their room without asking, either. You can also put a «do not disturb» sign on the door.

What if others hear me masturbating?

Some people don't mind if someone hears them during solo sex. Others even find it appealing. Still others really don't want that. Even if you have a home with thin walls, you can prevent others hearing you. Maybe you can have some soft music playing. Or you could leave the shower running while masturbating in the bathroom.

Disturbance can be distracting

If you’re not in a private and undisturbed space, your attention might not focus on your solo sex. Maybe you’re constantly listening for signs that someone is coming. This may interfere with your pleasure. On the other hand, you may be aroused by the idea that someone could catch you. You can play with this fantasy. Just make sure that you don't get yourself into a situation that could possibly harm you or others.

What if I want to masturbate in front of others?

Maybe you’d like to masturbate in front of others – your friends or your partner, for example. Rule of thumb: If they want that too, then it’s totally OK.

How do I handle being disturbed by others?

If someone bursts into your room, they can’t blame you for masturbating. In fact, they’re the ones who have to justify themselves — after all, they came into your room unannounced. So, ask yourself how you would want to handle a situation like this. You could make it clear to them once again that there are times when you don't want to be disturbed. You could insist that they respect that. You could also tell them clearly that you are angry with them. If you can never have a moment to yourself in your home, then something is wrong with the way you’re living together.

What do I do when others won't give me private space?

You have a right to sexual privacy. No one is allowed to interfere when you want to have some time alone for solo sex. Be assertive about your right. You may get into an argument, and the others may not realize that they are invading your privacy. For example, some parents want to control what their children do at all times. Some partners think that masturbation has no place in a relationship. Don't accept your rights being disrespected. You may need support from a counseling center. Youth counseling can help you learn how to claim space in your home. Sexual health counseling centers can also help you.