It feels different with a condom than without. But we think it’s a myth that you “can’t feel anything” or “not enough” with a condom, or that it definitely makes it harder to get an erection. If condoms bother you, it's often because you're not yet familiar with how to use them properly, or you haven’t found the right fit.
Why condoms?
One thing’s for sure: there’s no easier way to protect yourself from both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STI). We think everyone who has sex should know how to use condoms confidently.
Why shouldn’t I skip the condom?
Don’t stop using condoms just because you’re struggling to keep your erection. Safer sex comes first. Skipping the condom means exposing yourself (and your partners) to the risk of STIs or unwanted pregnancy. Your health and your partners’ health matter more. Of course, you don’t need condoms if you’re both STI-free and are using another reliable method of contraception.
Why does my penis go soft when I put on a condom?
If your penis goes soft while putting the condom on, it’s usually a matter of practice. Maybe you’re just not very familiar with them yet. Practice helps – that includes condom use. Try including condoms in your solo sex. You can get used to the different sensation and even start finding it pleasurable.
Why does my penis go soft during sex with a condom?
Maybe putting it on goes fine, but during vaginal or anal sex your erection fades. That could mean the stimulation with a condom isn’t quite enough for you. The question is: what kind of stimulation do you need? How sensitive is your penis in general? If you usually feel a lot of sensation there, you’ll probably still get enough stimulation even with a condom.
What does enough stimulation mean?
That’s often the key point. Suppose you’ve gotten used to using a lot of pressure during masturbation (with your hand, objects, or by tensing muscles) or to moving very fast, like rubbing. Then you’ve “trained” your body to respond only to very strong stimuli. It’s like someone who always eats super spicy food: regular food tastes bland. But the food isn’t the problem, it’s the taste buds. So don’t only use high-intensity techniques. Let your penis get used to gentler, slower sensations too. It’s not about better or worse, just variety. We describe this more in our text What are techniques of genital arousal?. Please also take a look at our tips. And get to know the other erogenous zones of your body. You’re not only aroused through your penis, we promise 
. The way you move and how you use all your senses also affects your sexual arousal and your erection.
Is the condom too tight?
Sometimes it’s simply a bad fit. A condom that’s too tight can feel uncomfortable and restrict blood flow. This causes the penis to go soft, even though everything else is fine. There may be a better fit for you. The best thing to do is try a few different ones. It’s like buying shoes: you pay attention to both size and fit. The main thing is that you feel comfortable. Even Usain Bolt wouldn’t run 100 meters in shoes that are too small.
How can I practice using condoms on my own?
You can use a condom while masturbating to get more used to it. If your penis goes soft, don’t stop right away. Keep going and experiment with what feels good even when your penis is covered. Practice this regularly. This will gradually help your penis to get used to this new form of sexual arousal with a condom. Try using a bit of lube too, because partnered sex isn’t dry either. Just make sure your lube is condom-safe, as many lubricants damage latex.
How do I roll the condom on?
You can use different techniques: roll it down with your fingertips, your fist, or make a ring with your thumb and index finger. Try what works best for you.
Why does it take practice at all?
The idea that the penis should just work and that sex should just happen has caused many men to lose their erections. It’s much more helpful to see sex as something you can learn. A good erection needs the right conditions. Have a look at our masturbation tips too. With regular practice, you’ll get a better sense of your penis and how it reacts. That will help you stay aware of it even when you’re wearing a condom.
How do I get used to condoms during sex with a partner?
You can use condoms even when penetration isn’t the goal, for example, during foreplay. Or put one on early, long before you plan to have vaginal or anal sex. If a lot of time passes, just use a new one. Condoms dry out in the air, and dryness is one of the main reasons they tear.
How do I include the break for the condom into sex?
It can help to make the moment of putting on the condom part of the erotic play. Keep the condom nearby so there’s no long pause. You could have your partner put it on you, or keep touching or stroking your penis while you roll it down.
How do I stop my thoughts from drifting while putting on a condom?
The short pause can trigger stress for some men. This moment can bring up doubts and fears, which can cause an erection to disappear. Previously, your attention was focused on arousing touches and fantasies. Now, you feel as though you have to do something. You are afraid that your erection will disappear. Or you may be afraid of an unwanted pregnancy. Neither of these thoughts is helpful to maintaining an erection. Talk to your partner about how you feel about the break and find creative solutions together. Take a look at our tips for talking about sex.
How can I make condoms feel more pleasant?
Try not to see the condom as a barrier. What would make you see condoms as erotic? For example, look at your partner while putting it on and imagine what you’ll do together next. How does it feel to move your pelvis slightly while putting on the condom? This increases sensation and improves blood circulation in your pelvis. The less you feel, the more your mind is involved. The more preoccupied you are with your thoughts, the less you will feel in your penis. This is an unfavorable cycle. Movement helps you stay relaxed and focused on pleasure instead of worry. Ultimately, sex should be fun, not scary – even if things don't always go to plan.
Am I the only one with this problem?
Not at all. Try entering the words “erection difficulties condom” into our search engine. This will show you the questions that other people have asked us about this topic. If you have any further questions, simply write to us in our anonymous question window.