You do not have to look perfect to be attractive. Your presence and your attitude toward other people are more important. We give you tips on how you can work on both.
Do something for yourself
If you want to seduce someone, it helps if you look reasonably well cared for and fit. But the idea that a dream body, big muscles, large breasts, or a large penis make people truly more successful with others is wrong. Those things do not make you a better person. And people usually like being with people, not with perfectly shaped objects. This is also true if you have a disability or impairment.
So no matter what kind of body nature has given you, your presence and your attitude toward others are much more important. You can work on both.
What is my attitude toward others?
Do you see other people as interesting human beings? Or are they a means to an end for you? Do they have to fulfill a certain role for you? Are you guided by prejudice? Or do you really look at them with open eyes? Are you interested in their problems, worries, wishes, and dreams? People who are successful with others have a genuine interest in them. This attitude shows in your behavior. You treat others openly and respectfully. Then they feel better in your presence, enjoy being with you more, and are more likely to want to do things with you. They are also more open to what you offer them.
How can I improve my presence?
When you are having a bad day, you look different than when everything feels right. When you smile, you seem more beautiful than when you look at the world with a grumpy face, even though you are the same person with the same body. This is called your presence. It has a much stronger effect on other people than a perfect appearance.
Your presence reflects how you see yourself. It does not matter what you look like, how dressed up you are, or whether you have a disability or impairment. If you find yourself interesting, attractive, sexy, and lovable, you show that to other people too.
You show it in your facial expression, in the way you look at others, in your posture, and in the way you talk about yourself. With this presence, you invite other people to find you interesting, attractive, sexy, and lovable.
How can I make myself interesting?
You are interesting...
- when you are interested in other people and show an interest in what interests or concerns them.
- when you can listen well, when you also share something about yourself, and when you can see things with humor.
- when you can get excited about different hobbies, bands, fashion styles, games, or sports.
- when you are interested in different ways of living and different attitudes.
How do I make myself attractive?
You are attractive...
- when you enjoy taking care of your body, or are learning to enjoy it.
- when you focus on the parts of your body that you like to look at or touch, or that feel good.
- when you emphasize these body parts, for example with clothes, jewelry, makeup, or accessories.
- when you feel good in your body. Anything that gives you a better body image and a better body feeling can help with this. Feeling good shows in your posture, your facial expression, your movements, and the way you walk.
- when you get used to a relaxed, upright posture.
- when you often remind yourself of things you are proud of, things you enjoy doing, and things that interest you. Then you simply look at the world with more confidence.
- when you smile, especially when you look at others or when you look at yourself in the mirror. Smiling makes you beautiful.
And yes, you can do this with a disability or impairment too. Do you need support with personal care? Then ask for the care you need in the way you want it and in a way that feels good for you.
Think about which parts of your body you like. But also try to accept the parts of your body that may look different because of your disability. It is attractive when you feel good in your body. This can also change your posture and your self-image.
Is it physically not possible for you to have a relaxed, upright posture? It is still worth practicing. Simply imagine yourself being relaxed or sitting or standing upright. You will see that even this can change something in your body and posture.
Yes: smiling really helps
When you smile, your presence becomes more positive. When you smile at people, they tend to like you more quickly. Maybe you are thinking, “But I don’t feel like smiling.” Okay. Try this: Sit as upright as you can and smile broadly. Head up, eyes open, mouth open. And then say to yourself, “The world is shit.” You probably won’t manage it very well. That is because we can influence our mood with small changes in our facial expression and posture. When we are upright, smiling, and our eyes are open, we tend to feel better than when we are hunched over and looking grumpy. Give it a try!
How do I make myself sexy?
You are sexy...
- when you work on your sexual confidence.
- when you learn to enjoy your sexual arousal.
- when you develop desire to enter somewhere with your penis or to receive something with your vagina.
- when you become more active and relaxed during sex. One secret behind this is moving more during sex.
- when you are independent and self-reliant. This means you feel okay even when you are single, and do not become completely dependent and clingy when you are in a relationship. Independence is sexy.
- when you also give your partners space and freedom to be themselves.
How do I make myself lovable?
You are lovable...
- when you can find other people lovable.
- when you find yourself lovable. This means you get along with yourself well enough to believe that you have the right to be loved.
- when you work on dealing with yourself and your feelings fairly well, and when, despite all your coolness, you can also show your feelings and talk about them.
- when you admit that you are shy.
- when you are willing to take responsibility for yourself and your actions in a relationship.
- when you do something to make sure that you and your romantic partners are doing well.
- when you treat your romantic partners the way you would like to be treated.