Sexuality: facts and tips / Sex tips and exercises for women and all vulva & vagina owners:

If you move during sex, you can become more aroused. The pelvic swing is particularly helpful during vaginal intercourse. Here, you will find tips and videos to help you practice. If you have limited or no mobility, you can adapt the exercises to suit your needs.

How does movement during sex benefit me?

If you move during sex, your genitals will be better supplied with blood. And you will develop more pleasant and positive feelings during sex. You can also become much more aroused and wet during vaginal intercourse. It also helps a lot when you have pain during sex. You can read more about this in our text "Why should women move during sex?".

Even if you are unable to move well, or at all, due to pain or a disability, these exercises may offer you a way to find movement that works for you. If movement is not possible, you can still increase your arousal and enjoy sex more by using breathing and your voice.

How do I move during sex?

Imagine moving your entire body in a fluid manner. This distributes arousal throughout your body, increasing pleasure. Moving your upper body and head can promote feelings of pleasure during sex. Circling your pelvis during penetration massages your vagina. This allows sexual arousal to travel better through your body. The pelvic swing is also very important. It is a movement of the pelvis. It improves blood flow to your genitals, thereby increasing sexual arousal. We describe the pelvic swing in more detail in the following sections and provide tips on how to practice it.

How does the pelvic swing work?

The pelvic swing is a movement of the pelvis. It is an active interplay of muscle tension and relaxation. This activation allows you to better feel your genitals and improves blood circulation. These two factors promote sexual arousal.

The pelvic swing is one of the most important movements during sex. The pelvis moves forward and back again. So you can use your pelvis to take a penis into your vagina. The same applies to a hand, dildo, or other object. Moving your pelvis in this way can help to increase sexual arousal during intercourse or vaginal penetration, which can lead to orgasm. This is because the movement improves blood flow to the genitals compared to remaining still. You can practice the pelvic swing while standing, lying down, sitting, or kneeling. We recommend breathing in and out through your abdomen during sex. Read our article, "Abdominal breathing revitalizes and calms" to learn more about the benefits of this technique. There, you will also find tips on how to practice this technique. The pelvic swing is an excellent method for increasing sexual arousal and feeling it. This doesn't mean that you have to move and breathe this way. It's just a very good option.

The pelvic swing while lying down

Do you want to practice the pelvic swing while lying down? Lie comfortably on your back. Bend your knees. Your feet are flat on the floor. Imagine that a string is attached to your belly button. As if you were a marionette, imagine the string pulling your stomach upward as you breathe in. As you breathe out, imagine the string pulling your lower back toward the floor. This means that when you inhale, your back arches, and when you exhale, your back returns to the floor. This movement comes from your stomach and back. Your buttocks can remain relaxed. Place one hand on your stomach and the other under your lower back to feel the movement better.

You can also watch the movement in this video. It's only available in German so far, so go ahead and fast-forward though the talking part and just concentrate on watching the woman do the movement. Also watch the cartoon that is superimposed to the movie. You'll see a balloon drawn in the woman's belly indicating when she inhales (full balloon) and when she exhales (empty balloon).

The pelvic swing in the cowgirl position

Would you like to practice the pelvic swing in the cowgirl position? Then, use pillows or blankets to build a structure on your bed or floor that is about the size of a human torso. Then sit on it with your knees bent so that it is comfortable for you. Since the cowgirl position can be exhausting for the knees, each woman finds out for herself what the best angle is. Support yourself with your arms in front of you, to the right and left of the cushion structure. Depending on how far forward you bend your arms, you can lean your upper body forward more or less. You can also sit upright and place your hands on your thighs. Now, perform the pelvic movement. Check out this video for a detailed demonstration (just fast-forward past the woman talking in German):

The pelvic swing in a sitting position

You can practice the pelvic swing anywhere you can sit: For example, at work, on the tram, at school... You don't have to do it extensively. Do a slight hollow back and a slight cat hump. This exercise is also good if you experience tension or back pain while sitting because the small movements loosen the muscles. You can find instructions in this video. Watch how the woman does it in this video (again, fast-forward past the woman talking in German):

The pelvic swing on all fours?

This is another good way to explore the swinging movement: Get down on your hands and knees. Imagine a thread pulling the middle of your back towards the ceiling while you exhale. And when you inhale, imagine a thread pulling your belly button to the ground. So, hunch your back when you exhale, and arch it when you inhale.

Try to do this movement slowly, round and smoothly – so that you're swinging, so to speak, and your body is moving around a hinge that's in the middle of your back.

The pelvic swing while standing

We suggest that you stand so that your feet are about as far apart from each another as your hips. When you stand in front of a mirror, you can watch yourself. It is important that the knees are loose, i.e. slightly bent. This is the only way you will have the necessary flexibility in your upper body. Now make the same movement as on four feet: alternating cat hunch with exhalation and arched back with inhalation – like the woman on the pictures below.

When exhaling and cat hunching, your vaginal entrance is in a position to take something in – for instance, a dildo or a penis, or your own fingers. Go ahead and make a hugging movement with your arms as if you were taking something in. This will support your imagination of doing so.

How do I distribute arousal through the body?

Moving your entire body is a good way of connecting different areas of your body. So when you do the pelvic swing, a good idea is to not leave your upper body static. Do the pelvic swing in a relaxed manner, while you lie on your back. You might notice that the movement translates into your upper body: When you arch your back, your chest expands and your shoulders go back a bit along with your pelvis. And when your back is round, your chest collapses and your shoulders move forward a bit. Try to amplify this movement in your upper body. Now do the same thing standing up. Watch yourself in the mirror. What's happening in your upper body? You can see this in the picture with the standing woman above. The idea ist that your whole body is part of this movement, not only your pelvis. This supports a whole-body experience of sexual arousal and orgasm.

Why is an open mouth a good idea?

A relaxed head is very important when letting go, especially during orgasm. We suggest you let your head do whatever it wants, but try to keep your mouth open. For many people the neck and jaw are often tense. A simple trick is to open your mouth during sex – ideally at least two fingers wide. This will loosen your jaw and neck muscles. And, you don't grit your teeth during sex without realizing it. When the mouth is open, the pelvic floor muscles are looser, as well. This is because the nerves of jaw and pelvic floor muscles are indirectly connected to each other.

How do I breathe?

We recommend that you breathe deep down into your abdomen during sex, exhaling at the cat's hunch and breathing out when arching the back. In other words: Exhale when your pelvis goes forward; inhale when your pelvis goes back. Try to leave your mouth open at least when you exhale – two fingers wide. As you exhale, you can make a sound. Say "Aaaaaaaaa" for example. The vibrations of your voice inside your body can add to your feelings of pleasure.

How do I intensify arousal?

Many people intensify their arousal by quicker movements combined with more muscular tension. However, high muscular tension has a lot of negative side-effects, as you can read in this text on muscular tension during sex. A more relaxed, pleasurable way to intensify is to alternately contract and relax the muscles in your pelvic floor. Try this out: Swing your pelvis like we described above. When doing the cat's hunch, contract your pelvic floor muscles, while exhaling deeply and making a sound. Now imagine you're taking something in actively. Contracting your pelvic floor muscles will actually pull them up a bit. So you can literally pull something in. You can test this with your finger in your vagina. As your pelvis moves back again, relax the muscles in your pelvic floor, letting go again.

How do I bring in variation?

Variation makes sex more interesting. Try swinging your pelvis really fast. When you do this, it might be too difficult to play with your pelvic floor muscles. And breathing synchronously might be too much. Don't worry: You don't have to do everything together. You have all these techniques – moving, playing with your muscles, breathing – to use together or individually. Try all variations – slow movements, fast movements, big movements, small movements. Explore all the different variations.

How do I intensify feelings of pleasure?

While the pelvic swing can be a very good way of intensifying arousal, doing different movements will allow you to keep going for longer and experiencing pleasurable feelings in your entire body. For instance, you can do circles with your pelvis, or move it sideways, try out a figure eight and all sorts of other movements. You can also imagine that you are a plant in the water and undulate pleasurably. All these movements are good for blood circulation and for distributing good sensations through your body. Ultimately you'll have a more intense, more full-body orgasm.

How do I loosen my upper body?

Quite often, movement in the pelvis works fine, but the upper body stays still or even stiff. Your neck might be tense, your jaws clenched. This might lead to a less pleasurable, more stressful sexual experience. We recommend that you follow these tips for more movement in the upper body. We also recommend our breathing tips for less stressful sex.

How do I introduce movement into my masturbation technique?

When masturbating, you can practice moving your body very effectively. Take one or more fingers, moisten them with spit, lubricant or oil, and place them on the vulva – perhaps on the areas you would otherwise get aroused during masturbation. Instead of moving your hand or finger, move your pelvis. Pay attention to what you feel and whether it feels different than when you lie still. If you insert one or more fingers into the vagina, you can hold your hand still and use the pelvic swing to make the fingers slip in and out. You can also circle your hips in a figure 8 motion. These movements provide lateral massage of the vaginal wall, which is full of nerve receptors sensitive to pressure.

How do I make movements during sex with a partner?

We recommend that you pracice the pelvic swing alone and start experimenting with it during sex with your partner as soon as the swinging comes somewhat automatically. When you do the pelvic swing during sex your partner doesn't have to do all the work. In fact, you dictate the speed and when and how deep you want to take in the penis. Many women find this easiest when they're on top, at first. But you can use the pelvic swing in any sex position. If you are completely trapped and practically unable to move, you can still make very small movements. You might not move your pelvis much. But you might deep-breathe and play with your pelvic floor muscles. So there might be a lot of inner movement with hardly any visible outer movement. Remember, it's stimulating for the vaginal wall to be massaged. So if your partner makes in-and-out movements with his penis, you can circle and move sideways to ensure more stimulation of the vaginal wall.