Sexuality: facts and tips / Sex tips and exercises for men and all penis owners:
Being able to feel and consciously tighten and relax your pelvic floor muscles during sex allows you to stimulate your penis from the inside and better control your arousal. We have written many practice tips on this topic.
What are the pelvic floor muscles?
The pelvic floor muscles are a complex network of muscles that lie inside the pelvis (extending from below the lower abdomen to behind the anus). These muscles keep your internal organs in place. You also need these muscles for urination, bowel movements, and sexual arousal.
The pelvic floor muscles are like a third hand
If you can feel and control your pelvic floor muscles well, then you can massage your penis from the inside. This is possible because a large part of the penis actually lies inside the body. In a sense, your pelvic floor muscles are your third hand that you can use to stimulate the internal part of your penis.
Sexual problems due to high muscle tension
Your pelvic floor muscles will automatically tense to a certain degree when you're sexually aroused. Tightening them further can increase your sexual arousal and allow you to ejaculate more quickly. However, you will be less able to feel subtle differences and will only feel strong stimuli. This makes it harder to control your sexual arousal, and you may climax sooner than you want to. You may also lose your erection because you can no longer feel your penis as well. Additionally, your pelvic floor may have reduced blood flow because the tension leaves no room for blood. This can lead to erection problems. Finally, high tension can cause pain during or after sex. You can read more about possible problems with high muscle tension during sex in this text.
How do I avoid excessive tension?
Movement is an effective remedy for excessive tension in the pelvic floor muscles. If you swing or circle your pelvis a little bit, the pelvic floor muscles will also move a little bit. Therefore, we recommend doing the exercises in this text. Another effective way to reduce tension is to learn to feel and play with your pelvic floor muscles. This means, for example, rhythmically tensing and relaxing them. This is also an effective way to massage the inside of your penis.
How do I learn to feel my pelvic floor muscles?
It takes practice to be able to feel your pelvic floor muscles. Imagine you're trying to hold back urine, and then relax. Don't do this in the bathroom while urinating, as it is not healthy for the bladder. If you do this exercise while standing naked in front of a mirror, you should see your testicles move slightly upward as you tense your muscles. See if you can do that. You can tense and relax them again and again throughout the day while sitting, standing, or lying down. The more you do it, the more you'll start to feel your pelvic floor muscles.
Telling the difference between pelvic floor and butt muscles
Many people have difficulty tensing or relaxing their pelvic floor and butt muscles independently. During sex, they tend to clench them all together. See if you can tense your pelvic floor muscles independently of your butt muscles. Place your hands on your buttocks and observe how they respond when you contract your pelvic floor muscles. If your buttocks also tighten, try relaxing them while keeping your pelvic floor muscles tense. Then, try tensing your buttocks while keeping your pelvic floor muscles relaxed. And then, only tighten the left buttock, followed by the right. Now, relax just the right cheek, and then relax the left cheek. Play with these muscles as much as possible because doing so will help you feel and tighten them independently. Try these exercises while standing, sitting, and lying down.
Telling the difference between front and back
This is now taking things to the next level: Can you tell the difference between the pelvic floor muscles in the back and the ones in the front? Imagine you're holding back a bowel movement. Relax again. Now, pretend you're holding back urine. Relax again. Can you relax the back while tensing the front — and vice versa? Again, you can't do this exercise often enough — try it while standing, sitting, and lying down.
So, what do I do during sex?
First: Pay attention to what you do with your pelvic floor and butt muscles when masturbating. Then, see if you can play with them while arousing yourself. Try the techniques described in this text during sex. Your penis may go flaccid at first when you try this. This may happen if your arousal technique so far has involved high levels of tension. Don't let this discourage you. Slowly get your penis used to the new technique and your moving muscles.
Practice makes perfect
We learn through practice. This is true for sex, too. Practice means repetition. We recommend practicing for at least 20 minutes, three times a week. A few tries are not enough to create real changes in your brain. Yes, the brain is very important for sex.
Combining relaxation and intensity during sex
Once you have practiced these pelvic floor exercises, please also do the breathing exercises and the pelvic movement exercises. If you want tips on how to get aroused to orgasm, please take a look at this text.
