Sexuality: facts and tips / Tips on different sexual practices:
What is petting? What is foreplay? And what do you do during these activities? Read on to find out.
What does petting mean?
You cuddle with another person. You touch each other's genitals and the rest of your bodies with your hands, mouth, or toys in a way that is pleasant and sexually arousing. The penis does not enter the vagina or anus. During petting, people can become sexually aroused together without the penis entering the vagina or anus.
What is foreplay?
If, after petting, the penis enters the vagina (sexual intercourse) or the anus (anal intercourse), then petting is also called foreplay.
Can I practice for sexual intercourse with petting?
Petting is a good way to practice for sexual intercourse. This is because you become familiar with your partner's body and how they become sexually aroused. You can look closely at their genitals. You can touch, smell and taste them. You can also observe how they change during arousal. Petting involves someone else touching your body and genitals. This is another way to familiarize yourself with your body. You can experience how it feels when they touch you in different ways. You can find out more about this in our text, "Petting as practice for vaginal intercourse".
Do we need contraception when we're just petting?
The penis does not enter the vagina during petting. Whether or not you need to use contraception depends on what you are doing. Please read our tips on 'Contraception during petting and foreplay'.
How do I start?
You don't know the person very well yet? And you haven't had much sex with each other yet? Then maybe you could start with kissing. Caress the person's hands, arms, shoulders and head. Look into each other's eyes and talk or joke together. This will help you to build trust and overcome inhibitions. Gradually, your hands and mouths will wander towards the breasts, bottom and genital area. Perhaps you will keep your clothes on at first, gradually taking more and more off. However, the beginning of petting varies from couple to couple. Some couples are very intimate with each other. When petting, they sometimes turn their attention to the breasts, buttocks, and genitals quite quickly.
How can it feel even better?
When you are petting, your bodies touch each other. It feels very different if you have rubbed oil on them beforehand. You can basically rub anything you want on each other. Just be careful in the genital area, as the skin there is very sensitive. The environment inside the vagina can easily be disturbed. It is best to use oil or lubricant on the penis, vulva and vagina.
What kind of touching is right?
Are you wondering where and how to touch your partner? Are you unsure whether gentle or intense touching, fast or slow movements are “right”? The best way to find out is to experiment. Pay attention to what you both enjoy. Everyone likes different kinds of touching.
How do we know what we like?
It's best to start slowly and gently, and to touch slowly and gently, too. Take your time to feel how you move and touch each other. This will give you a better idea of how it feels. And you'll give the other person time to do the same. And it will also help you decide how far you want to go. Are you wondering how to find out what the other person likes, read our text "How can I tell what the other person likes during sex?".
What kind of touching is particularly good during foreplay?
Foreplay serves to fuel your sexual arousal. You increase your sexual arousal to the point where you are both ready for sexual intercourse. This means that the penis becomes stiff enough to enter the vagina. The vagina also becomes wide and wet enough to take the penis in. So any touching that gets you ready for sexual intercourse is good. Everyone has different preferences.
How do we prepare the vagina during foreplay?
Many people know too little about how to prepare the vagina. Please read this text about the vagina before continuing here. Then you will understand its structure and how it works. The outer third of the vagina is highly sensitive to touch and friction. Further inside, there are fewer nerve fibers. These fibers respond more to stretching. They are not as sensitive to friction. This means that the areas sensitive to rubbing at the entrance to the vagina and immediately behind it can easily be reached with your finger or tongue. The nerves further back in the vagina can be stimulated particularly well by stretching and pressing the vaginal wall with your fingers or a dildo.
How can I show what I like?
When petting, say what feels good and what doesn't. Your partners can only guess at what you don't say. How are they supposed to know that you particularly like being touched on your breasts, the backs of your knees, your neck, your scrotum or elsewhere? They might do something you don't like and think you find it really hot. Besides talking, there is another good way to help your partner get to know your body. Take their hand in yours. Gently guide their hand to wherever you would like it to go. If you want to read more about this, please read our tips “Talking about sex is helpful and erotic”.
Who is satisfying whom here?
You both increase and enjoy your sexual arousal during petting. Your partner supports you in this. You may find some touches strange or boring at first. And it is only when they are repeated often that you learn that these touches feel good after all. Through petting, you learn and practice to feel your body better and better. You also learn to associate this perception with good feelings. You can read more about this in our text "Good sex: Who is satisfying whom?"