Sexuality: facts and tips / Tips for sexual intercourse (vaginal intercourse):

During petting, you can practice the pleasurable sensations of entering and receiving without the penis actually entering the vagina. Hands, mouths, and sex toys are all good ways to explore this.

Why is petting a good way to practice vaginal sex?

Petting is generally a very good way to practice for vaginal intercourse. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve never had vaginal sex before, are with someone new, haven’t had sex for a long time, or if it simply hasn’t been working well. During petting, you can get to know your partner’s genitals and their sexual arousal. You also learn to become aroused in the presence of another person and to show yourself. When you talk about what you feel and experience during petting, you practice talking about sex. You can also try things you have already practiced on your own. If you have a vagina, you can practice receiving something. If you have a penis, you can practice entering.

Petting can also be a good way to practice for anal sex. You can read more about this in our text "How do I prepare for anal sex?".

Why should I use protection during petting?

If a penis comes close to the vaginal opening, you should always use a condom. Pre-ejaculate may already come out, or ejaculation may happen. Petting is a good opportunity to practice using condoms. This helps you become familiar with them, so they start to feel like a normal part of sex.

Why is communication so important?

You probably already know the answer: talking helps avoid misunderstandings. You take care of yourself when you tell your partner what you want and what you do not want. This also makes sex more enjoyable. We recommend that you both agree that orgasm is not the goal. If orgasm becomes the main goal of petting, it can create pressure. And pressure does not help with pleasurable sex. The idea is to get to know your body, feel more, learn to enjoy, and experience pleasure. You can find more communication tips in this text.

Tips for women and anyone with a vagina

If you want to have vaginal intercourse, the idea is to use your vagina to receive a penis, dildo, or similar toy and to become aroused by it. We call this "receiving". Of course, the penis or dildo also enters the vagina. But you are just as active, because your vagina is receiving it. We recommend that you keep imagining yourself actively taking something in with your vagina. Pelvic movements can help you this image. Moving your pelvic floor muscles also increases blood flow in the vagina. This can make sensations stronger. Here are some ideas for practicing receiving with another person:

• You can ask your partner to explore your vagina with their finger. Pay close attention to what you feel. Notice weather anything changes when you move your hips. We strongly recommend these exercises that help you feel more inside your vagina. It is a good idea to practice them on your own too. Then nothing distracts you, and you can focus on yourself. You can also try them with another person.
• Your partner can also explore your vaginal opening with their tongue and gently insert it. The tongue is moist and soft. This makes it a good way to practice receiving something with your vagina.
• During fellatio (when you stimulate a penis with your mouth), you can get familiar with your partner’s penis: how it looks, smells, and tastes. You can also use your mouth to get used to the idea of receiving a penis.
• If you want, your partner can touch your vaginal opening with his penis. Over time, he can slowly insert it a little further, and you can gradually receive him. This helps your vagina get used to him step by step. You can do the same with a dildo, vibrator, or another toy that can be inserted into the vagina.

Tips for men and anyone with a penis

During vaginal intercourse, you use your penis or a dildo to enter the vagina and become aroused by it. If you have never done this before, if your partner does not want a penis in her vagina, or if it has not been working well, you can practice entering with your hand, tongue, or another object. We recommend experimenting with pelvic movements. When you move your pelvis back and forth, it is easier to imagine what it is like to enter with your penis. You can stimulate your penis with one hand while you practice, or your partner can do this for you. Here are some ideas for practicing with another person:

• You can “visit” the vagina with your finger. It helps to moisten your finger first with saliva, oil, or lubricant. How deep can you go? How does the vaginal wall feel? Does it feel the same everywhere? What kinds of touch does your partner enjoy? Ask her how things feel. She may feel a lot, or not very much. That can take practice. You can also gently massage the vaginal walls. These tips might give you more ideas.
• When you explore your partner’s genitals with your tongue, you get to know them closely. You see them from very nearby. How do they look? How do they smell? You can also enter the vaginal opening with your tongue. How does it taste? What does the discharge look like?
• When your partner takes your penis into their mouth, you also experience what it feels like to be inside something warm and moist. The mouth and vagina can feel quite similar.
• You can help your penis get used to the vagina by stroking it over the vulva and gently touching the vaginal opening. If you and your partner both want to, you can insert the penis a little, and then gradually more over time. You might also want to try this with a dildo or another toy. We recommend that you also practice entering when you are alone. That way you are not distracted, and you can focus better on your own sensations.