My gf loves giving blowjobs and told me that all her previous partners have complimented her skills so much that she's proud of her bj skills. But, I have a very thick penis, and her bjs hurt coz her teeth scrapes on my penis. It hurts so bad that a few times I've asked her to stop, and have clearly told her that I can feel her teeth and its painful.
She loves to offer bjs, since it hurts, I politely decline and offer to do something else.
I can see her take it as a rejection, and get disappointed. Sometimes I get anxious to decline and just go with it.
I have always enjoyed bjs, and I never had this problem with my previous partners, I don't know what to do.
Do you have any advice/resource for me and/or my gf?
Since she's so proud of her skills, how do I share your advice/resource with her without her get offended or feel rejected?
Unsere Antwort
Sex between two people is always like a game between two people. It has to be coordinated so that it is good, otherwise sex is unsatisfying for one or both parties, or, as in your case, even painful. You have to find out together what actually gives both of you pleasure and is fulfilling. Using sex to boost her ego is not exactly a sign of self-confidence. You sense this too, which is why you are afraid to bring it up. But you can't work on her self-confidence; she has to do that herself.
She hurts you and you don't want to experience pain during sex, which is perfectly legitimate and understandable. You have already told her several times that this kind of sex causes you pain and that you don't want it. But she continues to do it anyway. This is definitely not good, neither for you nor for your relationship, and in the long run it will probably kill your desire.
I would recommend that you talk to her about it again in a calm situation, i.e. not during sex, and also see what actually gives you both sexual pleasure together. If she doesn't want to talk about it and doesn't want to try anything else with you, then there's nothing you can do.
To put it bluntly, you can either endure all the pain until you can't take it anymore or your desire for her has disappeared, or you realize that she is more interested in creating an image of herself to cover up her lack of self-confidence than she is in you personally. In that case, you would have to ask yourself whether you want to be with someone like that.
But let's not assume the worst case scenario. Maybe you just need to explain to her in a quiet moment that you don't want to be in pain during sex and that you're looking forward to discovering things together that give you both sexual pleasure.
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