I have premature ejaculation during intercourse. I am close to ejacualtion within 10-20 seconds of penetration.
I've tried many things. The start-stop technique doesn't work to a satisfying extent.
By the way: Oral sex is no problem. I can also last much longer with my fleshlight.
Any tips?
Unsere Antwort
Did the premature ejaculation occur in all relationships? When you use your fleshlight, are you jerking yourself off or penetrating the hole? What are you imagining? In other words, do you actually practice doing what you want to do the way you want to do it? More simply put, if you practice jerking off rather than penetrating your hand or the fleshlight, being in a situation that demands penetration will cause you anxiety – and that messes up your mojo.
A blow job is essentially jerking off, as well. All the work is done for you. You receive the pleasure – blow job, jerking off, fleshlight – all passive pleasure (if you are not doing any penetrating).
If you learn how to withhold your ejaculation using the start and stop technique, that's why you last only a short time after you start up again. As soon as you start, you go at full speed. However, this is about learning to pace yourself. Please read our text on premature ejaculation. I would recommend that you don't use the stop start technique, rather, shift your concentration to your deep belly breathing and rhythmic pelvic movements instead of trying to hold back the orgasm. This is not something to just try; it's something to do for the rest of your life.
Optimal sexual performance depends on a combination of factors, not just breathing or clenching or whatever. It involves combining breathing with smooth, fluid, rhythmic bodily movements. Practice doing what you want to be doing – penetrating with intent and control. Simulate the situation in your hand with something slippery. Vary the pace and intensity of your stroking. I recommend these practice tips for you.
And, practice means practice. It doesn't mean you halfheartedly try it two or three times. It's something that you do over and over and over again. Even when you've got it right, you continue to practice so that you get better and better and better. Because… This is where it all comes together. Premature ejaculation often stems from anxiety. Anxiety stems from the unknown. The more familiar you become with something, especially your own body, the less anxiety you will experience when you are sharing it with somebody else's body.
We talk about practicing in other texts on Lilli, but I will repeat an important point here. We need to practice any activity that we do with other people, alone – first, before we start engaging with other people. Otherwise, the anxiety of unknown and new situations is bound to lead to temporary failure. You practice your soccer skills alone, and with the team. You practice your guitar alone, and with the band. Sex is multi-person activity, the success of which is highly dependent on individual skills and the ability to combine them with other people's individual skills. So, practice alone and with your partner.
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